“It is better to be kind than to be right”

My husband always shares with me this quote attributed to the Dalai Lama.  I agree with that statement but find myself trying to reach a balance between speaking my truth out of integrity and compromising the truth in the pursuit of kindness.  To be in integrity do you always have to call it as you see it?  My husband says “Brutal honesty is not the way”.  Maybe not, because to remain quiet is a possible option.  Or is it?

One thought on ““It is better to be kind than to be right””

  1. I have been thinking about this one recently myself. I get a Sufi newsletter in my email each day. Recently there was one about how you shouldn’t really have so much to say in life. Most of what we say is drivel and doesn’t add anything. This particular post talked about how when a person doesn’t say that much, every word he does add is meaningful, and a word can either act as a balm or as a sledgehammer. it said some people, “content with their honesty”, would issue forth violent language that hurt others. etc.

    so i was wondering a lot about this and discussing it with my husband. i mean certainly this doesn’t mean that you should never put out constructive criticisms. sometimes negative things have to be said. but the phrasing ‘content with his honesty’ really hit me. i strive for honesty and i do console myself that at least i’m honest, even if i do create conflict sometimes. it’s an eye opener to be reminded that there is a whole realm of existence much higher than ‘honesty’ that i’m not even shooting for.

    however some more in depth discussion of the matter would have been helpful. some concrete examples. i mean even the dalai lama has to sometimes tell someone he has bad breath or …. something?

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